A: Prom.

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
 
Well, it's shit. that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. 
 
Consider:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.
 
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot. 
 
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit. 
 
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shineola.
 
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.  There is bull shit,
horse shit, and chicken shit. 
 
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.   
 
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
 
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit. 
 
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
 
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. 
 
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. 
 
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
 
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. 

 
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
 
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
 
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
 
 
Well Shit, it's time for me to go.  Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit.  But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head..........
Well, Shit Happens!!!

That is it for now...if you have any jokes e-mail them to me and i will put them on my site

And Be Weird Whenever Possible